Sitting comfortably in my Christopher Street Starbucks, peering out the large front window at the snowstorm beyond that has halted traffic almost entirely, sipping my hot mocha, I can't help but think about progress. After all, I sat in this same seat and peered out this same window three winters ago. What has changed since then, aside from the photo gallery on display on the opposite wall (now an odd collection of wild animals in their winter habitats and Amazonian waterfalls). The world has certainly changed in the last three years -- both for worse and for better -- but how have I?
My first thought is that I've got a better haircut now, but that's debatable.
I do have a better laptop, but since Apple no longer sells the iBook (and G4 is essentially a dinosaur), I'm not sure that counts for anything.
The more I think about it -- same backpack, same snow-soaked shoes, same knee-torn jeans -- the more I'm convinced that I've slipped into some sort of portal. Delta Flight #700 left present-day LAX yesterday morning and arrived at JFK circa 2007...
...but then I get an email from my 2E's. An email with the subject line, wedding stuff - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!
Never thought I'd say it, but a wedding-related email has saved me, bringing me back to present day, reminding me what I wasn't three winters ago: a groom in the midst of a snowstorm. I was just a guy. A guy with a dinosaur for a laptop and a phone that didn't give me my account balance on command. And that guy-to-groom transition, according to my very handy points system, easily buys me four years of lack of progress in all other areas of life.
I love my points system.
And speaking of progress, I love how much my 2E's appreciates my time, now flagging wedding-related emails with ALL CAPS and exclamation points!!! It's Day One in New York City, and I don't have a single wedding chore on my to-do list.
Day Two is not so secure, but I'll take what I can get.
Showing posts with label The Emails. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Emails. Show all posts
February 26, 2010
February 12, 2010
oh god the emails (cont.) (cont.) (cont.) (cont.)
It's true. Things have improved since October. 2E's now begins her emails with
sorry for the barrage of emails but
and there is an apology in there -- hidden there at the very beginning -- but it's the but that sets us back. It's the but that makes a groom cringe. Buts scare us.
My poor Inbox has never looked so overwhelmed. I've got notes, reminders, queries, quote requests, appointments, proposals, budgets, breakdowns, inspiration, links, photos, videos, tid bits and this-and-thats -- and that's just this week. I have emails with the subject line "cute?" What am I supposed to derive from that?
Occasionally I'll archive an unread email out of pity, you know, put it out of its misery. I'll read one mid-teeth brushing or on my way out the door -- but that's when the gmail chat begins.
2E's: did you get my catering email
the new one
ME: yup
2E's: what do u think
ME: oh
i didn't read it yet
2E's: oh
well see if u like it
it's in our budget!!
:)
(moments later)
ME: looks good
2E's: do you like the apps? i'm not thrilled about the crabcakes
ME: oh
i didn't read that part
2E's: what part did you read?
ME: the total
2E's: the total what?
ME: cost
isn't that what you wanted me to read??
2E's: no, i want ur opinion on the whole thing
ME: oh
sorry
(moments later)
ME: yeah, i like most of it
it's pretty good
2E's: o-kay
well compare it to the other three i just sent you
love you!!!
It's just not in our blood. It's like stockings or scrapbooking ... we just don't get it. Apparently men have X hours in a day for email correspondence. Women have X + 2. Mathematically speaking, it's unfair. It's just unfair.
sorry for the barrage of emails but
and there is an apology in there -- hidden there at the very beginning -- but it's the but that sets us back. It's the but that makes a groom cringe. Buts scare us.
My poor Inbox has never looked so overwhelmed. I've got notes, reminders, queries, quote requests, appointments, proposals, budgets, breakdowns, inspiration, links, photos, videos, tid bits and this-and-thats -- and that's just this week. I have emails with the subject line "cute?" What am I supposed to derive from that?
Occasionally I'll archive an unread email out of pity, you know, put it out of its misery. I'll read one mid-teeth brushing or on my way out the door -- but that's when the gmail chat begins.
2E's: did you get my catering email
the new one
ME: yup
2E's: what do u think
ME: oh
i didn't read it yet
2E's: oh
well see if u like it
it's in our budget!!
:)
(moments later)
ME: looks good
2E's: do you like the apps? i'm not thrilled about the crabcakes
ME: oh
i didn't read that part
2E's: what part did you read?
ME: the total
2E's: the total what?
ME: cost
isn't that what you wanted me to read??
2E's: no, i want ur opinion on the whole thing
ME: oh
sorry
(moments later)
ME: yeah, i like most of it
it's pretty good
2E's: o-kay
well compare it to the other three i just sent you
love you!!!
It's just not in our blood. It's like stockings or scrapbooking ... we just don't get it. Apparently men have X hours in a day for email correspondence. Women have X + 2. Mathematically speaking, it's unfair. It's just unfair.
October 1, 2009
The emails the emails oh god the emails
There are two types of books in the Weddings section at the local B&N: books for the bride, which tend to be about 40 lbs. and come workbook-style with budget calculators and guest list trimmers; and the books for the groom, pocket-sized and clever, full of diagrams and pop-ups and 30-minute breaks.
And the authors do a decent job preparing us grooms for the treacherous terrain upon which we're about to step ... warning us of the transformations that are about to take place in our homes, in our lives, in our credit card statements and in our brides-to-be. But the one thing they fail to prepare you for is the deluge of emails. Oh god the emails.
Here's a sampling from this morning ... morning:
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 9:06AM
subject check out this guy's suit (link to online photo)
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 9:35AM
subject nevermind the guy's suit, look at the whole wedding! OMG! (link to online gallery)
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 10:01AM
subject Fw: Catering proposal
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:23AM
subject hotels
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:29AM
subject Fw: Fw: Catering proposal - did you see this yet? OMG
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:45AM
subject more hotels
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:46AM
subject hi call me whenever re: wedding things
from 1E
to 2E's
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:58AM
subject ERROR: MAILBOX DATA CAPACITY
And the authors do a decent job preparing us grooms for the treacherous terrain upon which we're about to step ... warning us of the transformations that are about to take place in our homes, in our lives, in our credit card statements and in our brides-to-be. But the one thing they fail to prepare you for is the deluge of emails. Oh god the emails.
Here's a sampling from this morning ... morning:
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 9:06AM
subject check out this guy's suit (link to online photo)
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 9:35AM
subject nevermind the guy's suit, look at the whole wedding! OMG! (link to online gallery)
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 10:01AM
subject Fw: Catering proposal
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:23AM
subject hotels
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:29AM
subject Fw: Fw: Catering proposal - did you see this yet? OMG
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:45AM
subject more hotels
from 2E's
to 1E
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:46AM
subject hi call me whenever re: wedding things
from 1E
to 2E's
date Thu October 1, 2009 at 11:58AM
subject ERROR: MAILBOX DATA CAPACITY
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