Nothing

Readers have been emailing, tweeting and Pony Expressing me this past week, asking for an update on our ceremony location connundrum. So here is the update, faithful readers. Here it is, in true press release format:

"14 March 2010

No one at the nowhere agency has not informed us of anything.

No one at the no name agency in nowhere hasn't told us that a no name company may be doing nothing in particular in the place where we were planning to hold our ceremony. It was not confirmed by no one special that this nothingness would affect not only our ceremony but also our reception venue. This is in no way public information, so please keep your know-nothingness to yourself.

AP"


No news isn't good news. No news is absolutely crap. 2E's and I are utterly frustrated, deciding ultimately that it's the wedding gods' intention that we hit every speedbump along the way.

Half-rationalizing and half-bickering, 2E's and I summed up our current debacle. Kneeling on the floor of the DVD section in the Atlantic Avenue (Brooklyn) Target, I realized that this was that moment, that crappy, frustrating moment that brides and grooms always gripe about and eventually laugh about after the ceremony. "The long, painful road here," etc.

So we've hit it. Our first major speedbump. And we're still here. We're still standing. Even though we're 3,000 miles apart. Which is AWESOME. ... Sarcasm.

So there's the update. Nothing to it.

Madman


-- via Madman's mobile

Location:W 45th St,New York,United States

Inspiration #67 (from the Best Man)

BAM! A Brooklyn Bridal Show Revealed

To 2E's dismay, I was in the company of hundreds of women this afternoon on the second floor of the BAM space in Brooklyn. BAM!

In truth, I was expecting worse. I thought I'd see millions of crazed Brooklyn brides packed into a poor excuse for a hallway, fighting over free samples of layer cake and mini-cupcakes. (Well, I was right about the mini cupcakes.) What I found was a relatively low-key event with some very cool industry individuals -- many of whom I've been chatting with via Twitter from across the country.

Here are three highlights:

Love Jenna Calligraphy
Jenna spotted a lost, lone groom in the crowd and introduced herself and her calligraphy company. She quickly won me over -- not only with her impressive 20-lb cardstock (seriously, it's painfully thick), but with her calm, collected demeanor and one-woman show attitude. Oh, right -- and the beautiful display of sample scripts. We'll definitely be thinking of Jenna when it comes time for invite envelopes. 

Edible Manhattan
I thought I'd share a fantastic idea that I picked up at the show: Edible Manhattan (and, soon enough, Edible Brooklyn) provides a complimentary food mag by the same name that celebrates "local food culture, season by season." And the publication acts as a great complimentary gift for your out-of-town guests. Flip to the back of the book for a list of Edible-approved restaurants, wine shops, wineries, coffee shops, bakeries, organic resources, etc. Contact Edible directly and ask how you can get a box of their most recent issues shipped directly to your door.

UPDATE 6/16/2010: Due to a large demand for publications, there is now a $2 charge for issues of Edible Brooklyn.

Just About Married
I was pleased as a masculine cup of punch to meet Anna Leath, who heads up Just About Married's day-of coordination and consulting services. Working under the umbrella of Xochitl Gonzalez's boutique wedding planning firm, Always A Bridesmaid, Anna does just about everything you might expect a wedding coordinator to do ... and a bunch of things you would NEVER expect. Like ... the things you would normally forget. Make a smart move and inquire about Anna's day-of and hourly services and her reasonable prices.

Thanks to Great Performances for hosting a very chic, impressive event. The free glass-o-champagne was a nice touch. Only -- next time -- you may want to have something on tap. We grooms tend to be more appreciative when it comes out of a spout.

Swayed by Stock Photos

It's decision time. 2E's and I are knee-deep in this honeymoon business, and our latest self-imposed task is to choose the exotic destination that will suit us best. 

Men love honeymoons. We love any all-inclusive vacation, really. And we love this one in particular because it's the week-long calm after a year-long overcast. I'm gonna soak it up. No doubt about it.

So the decision-making process is pretty complicated, when you think about it. There are hundreds of cities to choose from, hundreds of resorts to research, and they all have their own ups and downs, advantages and disadvantages. My method involves an intense rating system -- far more complicated than anything concocted by the Olympics officials -- utilizing color coding, nautical engineering and 2 (count them, 2) decimal places. Only after putting each destination resort through this gauntlet of reasoning can we know, really and truly, what works for us.

2E's method involves looking at the photos on the resort websites. She likes the one where the couple is in that bungalow on the water, the fisheye shot of the courtyard that has several mini-pools, and the one where the hotel is on stilts. She loves the stilts.

I can't say I'm a big fan of her method. There's no science behind it. She's been swayed primarily by stock photos. And there are no decimal places. Not even one. Fuggedaboutit.

Ultimate Groom Contest! (Ultimate Grooms Only, Please)

The Man Registry is SO clever. They come up with this kickass Ultimate Groom Contest, open to all grooms who are residents of the U.S., and then they make me an official judge so I can't even enter the competition.

You are SO clever, Man Registry. So. Clever.

And why would I want to enter the contest, anyway? Is it purely for the title -- The Ultimate Groom? Is it bragging rights? Years of Twitter posts about how awesome I am? Perhaps it's the prizes, which include a honeymoon kit, a grilltopper set and the hottest pocket square you've ever seen.

It's definitely the pocket square.

If you're a groom, it's definitely worth checking out. And if you're a bride, it's definitely not open to you. But it is open to your fiance, and it's pretty much your bridal duty to nominate him between now and March 15th. See the contest rules and a complete prizes list here.

FYI - the contest is also sponsored by some awesome industry peeps (The Dessy Group, Whiteflash.com, Adam & Even, Grilltopper & MissNowMrs) and will be judged by the most unworthy group of grooms that the blogging world has ever seen. If that's not incentive enough ... honestly ... I don't know what is.