Food For Thought: Helping Men Decipher Menus

2E's has asked me to look through several menu options this week ... and ... I'm sorry, I just can't keep it in any longer. 

I can't read. Them. I can't read them.

What are these words? Why is everything French all of a sudden? What the hell are Haricots Verts and why are they in every dish?

Men -- here's a first stab at a few common wedding dishes. Indulge.

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Ouray Cheese Baskets

Ouray - historic Colorado city, zip code 81427

Ouray Cheese - earthy buttery cheese with a sweet floral flavor, firm creamy paste and crisp edible natural rind

Cheese Baskets - hardened, baked cheese disc molded into a basket shape

Translation: Colorado Cheese Discs with Floral Paste Rinds 

Not to be confused with: Cheese Gift Baskets

See also: Ouray Cheese Wheels, Ouray Cheese & Crackers, Ouray Chuck E. Cheese

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Andouille en Croute 

Andouille - coarse-grained smoked meat made using pork, pepper, onions, wine and seasonings, originated in France

en Croute - wrapped in pastry and baked 

Translation: Coarse French Meat, Wrapped and Baked
Modern Translation: Pigs in a Blanket

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Roasted Poblano on Stone Ground Grit Cake 

Poblano - mild chile pepper originating in Mexico (dried, it is called an ancho chile)

Stone Ground - technique for grinding grains, leaves the grain coarser and the germ intact

Grit Cake - chilled, leftover grits cut into various shapes

Translation: Roasted Mexican Pepper on Coarse Leftover Grits with Germs

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Juniper-Cured Gravlax 

Juniper - coniferous plants of the cypress family with needle-like leaves

Gravlax - cured raw salmon

Translation: Needle-Like Salmon ... Double-Cured

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Sake-Cured Lemon Wheels

Distant Cousin of: Ouray Cheese Wheels

 
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Lotus Root Chip 

Lotus root - rhizome of the lotus plant, full of fiber and other nutrients

Chip - (1) a small thin slice of food, or (2) a piece of dried dung

Translation: Thin Slice of Fiber Plant
Alternate Translation: Dried Fiber Dung 

  

Not to be confused with: Lotus Root Chip & Dip

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Truffled Foie Gras Croustade on Brioche, Pickled Fennel and Lingonberries 

Truffled - cooked, stuffed, or garnished with truffles

Foie Gras - expensive, silk-textured goose or duck liver that has been enlarged

Brioche - light slightly sweet bread made with a rich yeast dough

Croustade - crust or pie-crust of any type, typically made of flaky pastry

Fennel - a biennial or perennial herb, common on all Mediterranean shores

Lingonberries - red, tart and smaller than cranberries but with a finer flavor

Translation: Flaky, Truffle-Garnished Duck Liver on Yeasty Bread, Mediterranean Herb with Pickles & Tart, Tiny Berries 
Modern Translation: Duck Sandwich

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Gougères Epoisse with Prosciutto Mousse

Gougeres - cheese-flavored choux pastry

Epoisse - a pungent, unpasteurized, washed-rind cows-milk cheese made in the village Époisses in the Côte-d'Or

Prosciutto - dry-cured ham that is usually sliced thinly and served uncooked

Translation: Pungent French Puff with Uncooked Ham Cream

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Truffled Mushroom Feuilleté Parmigiano Panna Cotta 

Feuillete - dough used for very light flaky rich pastries

Panna Cotta - Italian egg custard

Translation: Truffle-Stuffed Mushroom Dough with Egg Cheese Custard
Modern Translation: Pastry Thingy

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Tuna "Cru" Caperberries and Olives, on Olive Ficelle

Cru - Tahitian raw tuna in lime and coconut milk

Caperberries - oblong, semi-green berries on the caper plant, about the size of table grapes, with some lemon taste and milder than caper buds

Ficelle - type of bread (similar to a demi-baguette)

Translation: Tahitian Coconut Tuna with Lemon Berries & Olives on Olive French Stick Bread

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Roasted Salsify with Chanterelles, Haricot Verts, Thyme, Red Wine Demi-Glace

Salsify - root vegetable with oyster-flavored flesh

Chanterelles - wild and nutty mushroom with a trumpet-shaped head

Haricot Verts - green string bean with French attitude

Demi-Glace - rich brown reduction of meat stock, Madeira or sherry, and other ingredients

Translation: Roasted Oyster Flesh with Trumpet Mushrooms, Angry String Beans, Thyme & Brown Wine Reduction 
Modern Translation: The Veggie Option

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Fig and Hazelnut Financier

Financier - a small cake or cookie that is made with ground nuts and whipped egg whites, soft like sponge cake

Translation: Fruit, Egg and Ground Nut Sponge

Often mistaken with the phrase: "Grabbing your financial adviser by the fig and hazelnuts."

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Salade Gourmande Mâche, Haricots Verts, Foie Gras, Black Truffle, Quail Egg

Gourmande - a person who appreciates eating and drinking, sometimes to excess

Mache - European salad green, called "lamb's lettuce" in English

Black truffle - fungal fruiting body, grows exclusively with oak

Quail egg - wonderful alternative to chicken eggs with beautiful shells and delicately-flavored yolk

Translation: Excessive Lamb Lettuce Salad with French Beans, Black Oak Fungus, Enlarged Goose Liver and Chicken-Like Easter Eggs

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Cinnamon Babka Pain Perdu Bourbon Crème Anglaise

Babka - spongy yeast cake with fruit and raisin filling

Pain Perdu - French toast made from left over New Orleans-style French bread

Creme Anglaise - rich custard sauce, used as a topping to fruits and pastries

Translation: Cinnamon-Filled French Yeast with Rich, Kentucky Whiskey Custard
Modern Translation: Grand Slam Breakfast