How the Hell...

I've been gone -- I do apologize -- but I've disappeared with good reason: 2E's and I have been venue hunting. Yes, we took off our shoes, rolled up our pant legs and walked right into the shit of it.

And it stinks.

Sure, we've been somewhat successful locating some new spaces (thanks to recommendations from vendors and friends who "feel our pain") ... but at the same time, it's a big fat reminder that venues are too damn expensive. No wonder we were so relieved when we booked our Loft space. That place is hella cheap.

Now look -- I've worked in the New York event industry on and off for four years now. I realize (a) that New York (Manhattan in particular) has the most expensive venues across the board and (b) that oftentimes those prices are fair. Venues require a great deal of furnishing, upkeep, staff -- not to mention the need to make a profit and remain in business.

But there are some places in BKLYN (and I won't get personal and name names) that are seemingly overpriced. How they stay in business is beyond me. For instance, how can a warehouse bordering the trendy Gowanus Canal (see bubbling sewage right) that is sizable but by no means glamorous charge over $12,000 for an evening's rental? Really guys? How does a place like that survive during a recession? You can't just shrug and say, Oh well, New York prices! No ... this, as my mother would say, is highway robbery.

Nothing new, I know. We've all been there, yes. What's upsetting is that there's no means to change this trend. For one, there are countless couples living in NYC who are able and willing to pay absurd amounts of money for the venue of their choice (and god bless them and their parents' deep pockets). Moreover, wedding planning is a 2-person operation. We don't seek out venues in hordes. We don't venue hunt in packs, demanding discounts and scoffing at $15K rental fees.

No, wedding planning is personal. And all of us couples have our own joyous and (at times) tumultuous journey, and we all meet each other on the other side and swap tales of mirth and woe and "Oh, can you believe how pricey...?" It's the personal, I think, that can make it wonderful and unbearable. Wonderful that it's just you two (and yes, your invested parents) and your vision and your passion; unbearable that it's just you two vs. the wedding world.

Yeah, hold your bets. 

Look, if 2E's and I did have $10K + to drop on a location rental fee, we would have plenty more options. Hell, if we had $20K, we could have our pick of some of the best sites in the city (Tobacco Warehouse here we come). But that's not our reality. It's not our journey. And we're learning to be okay with that. After all, ours is the story that will be so much more exciting to tell at parties years down the road, cause ours will start with,

"So seven months out we lost our venue..."

Catering, in the Biblical Sense

God knows I like to pretend I'm somebody. I'm very Bret Easton Ellis that way.

Back in the day (so to speak), I would take 2E's out to dinner at what we thought to be the snazziest restaurants in Manhattan. Hell, we were the youngest couple at Nobu by at least 12 years. And as part of our 7-day stay in Puerto Vallarta, we hiked up an unfriendly hillside through dark, unfriendly alleyways (2E's in the unfriendliest pair of heels) to visit one amazing Mexican restaurant where I had a generous portion of ostrich for the first time ever. At least I think it was ostrich. Perhaps it was [insert rarely eaten bird here].

And it's not because 2E's and I are at all snazzy ourselves -- no-no, we're far from it -- but we do appreciate a good meal. Good service. Good food. A "no bullshit" experience.

Having said that, even we -- connoisseurs of food that we believe ourselves to be -- cannot comprehend the outrageous price of catering.

Well, I should amend that. "...the outrageous price of New York catering."

We have been speaking to the kindest, most personable caterers for the last three months of this seemingly interminable journey. They get us. They get our vibe, assuming we have one. And on top of it, they want to put their own spin on our wedding, which we love. But the Grand Total at the bottom of their proposed menu is absurd.

Is it standard? I'm assuming. I'm assuming X and Y are by no means out to screw us in the Biblical sense. Why would they?

No, this is just the world of weddings, and 2E's and I have (in our infinite wisdom) chosen to be wed in the city where catering costs run rampant. God forbid we try to contact one of the larger, more reputable companies like "Preat Gerformances." Uttering our meager catering budget over the phone would send a wave of laughter through their SoHo headquarters. Little do they know that we would gladly bus tables and do dishes at our own wedding to have just a passing acquaintance with their passing tray aperitifs.

2E's thinks the next month would best be spent seeking out other proposals and "getting creative." I suppose this means requesting pricing information from smaller companies, shredding rejected proposals and using the shredded paper to prepare shredded paper salads -- our very reliable back-up should we not find an affordable alternative. Doesn't get more DIY than that.