April 8, 2010

Starting Over

Our location saga -- as all sagas do -- has now come to a close.

A quick sum-up for those who are just joining us:
1. We booked our reception at the kickass Loft venue and put a "small" deposit down on the space.
2. We were hoping to book the space that is often referred to as the Manhattan Bridge Arch (pictured below) for our ceremony, but we were told in back in October that the space could not even be considered until Feb 2010, when the events calendar comes out.
3. In Feb 2010, we learned that the date might be booked ... it was being considered for an event. Yay.
4. After weeks without updates or word, we decided to contact the BKLYN borough president, who told me that he couldn't assist with our efforts but did tell me who the client was.
5. I decided (b/c/ we still had no new information) to call the client directly. They would have answers, wouldn't they? They would know if and when this event would be taking place, how many people would be invited, how "raucous" this archway party would be...

The most desired archway in all the land

Not only did the high-profile, hush-hush client tell us everything we needed to know ... they were also completely understanding. They sympathized with the fact that we had a wedding to plan from across the country, with invites to send out, living with the potential of this corporate gala next door (the archway is literally twenty feet from our reception space). 

We quickly learned from the client that the date of the event was, in fact, solidified (possibly had been for some time), that it would be an all day event, that it would host live bands and about 1500 guests. A party of that size would surely eat up the archway and spill out onto all neighboring streets. Music from the live bands would without a doubt ruin any semblance of an intimate ceremony. 

And so, we've decided to give up. We've decided to let the space go -- both ceremony and reception -- and find a new location inside of Brooklyn and outside of Dumbo. It wasn't an easy decision. We really have fallen in love with our event space. But we knew that this would not end well. 

My event designer pals tell me we made the right decision ... not just because of the excessive noise and foot traffic but because the place will surely be wrecked after an all day event. Garbage everywhere. Delivery trucks picking up rentals and equipment. The overwhelming stink of feet and booze and body odor. All things that just scream wedding

Most of our guests are traveling over 1,000 miles and spending hundreds of dollars to be with us. Why even entertain the possibility of competing with a full-on, 1500-person event the same day. It's insanity. 

Our Loft contact has been wonderful, promising to give us our entire deposit back as soon as he books the date for another event. 

We've learned so much from the experience ... we've learned that some people don't have it in their hearts the capacity to help you, no matter how much you try to get them on your side ... we've learned that only you and your 1E or 2Es know how important this wedding is, so you need to do what you think is right ... and we've learned that, between the two of us, I should get on the phone whenever an aggravated vendor calls. These little lessons will hopefully save us headaches in the future.

And 2E's is fantastic as always -- already looking up new spaces and scheduling times for me to go visit them while I'm in the city (and thank god I'm here). 

Don't pity us. Our parents have already done that task. Just please root us on as we do what all engaged couples hope they never have to do: start over. 



  1. Rooting for you. Our venue is causing us huge headaches too (though nothing like this) and I'm hunting around again, just in case. I'm glad that you at least found some good honest people in the process. And I know it will work out. Somehow.

  2. thank you, Becca! best of luck to you guys with YOUR headaches :)

  3. Boo! Bummer. I'm sorry for you. Perhaps through the ashes of this venue another will rise anew, a phoenix burning deep into the October night. And it will be even better than you had dreamed.

    *Fingers crossed*

  4. I look at it like this...There was a reason there was an obsticle in the way of that venue, because it wasnt where you were meant to be married! It sounds like you have some great help which is so great because it will allow you to see many options and I just bet you will find one you love a million times more! It will be perfect!!

  5. it just means that THE perfect location is awaiting you!! good luck on round two and keep us posted : )

  6. Ahh to start over. A new beginning but with all the lessons and wisdom you've acquired during the first false start. Lucky you BIL.

    (My alternate comment would read: Whaat?! For real? Or for more witty groom says content?...but I confirmed your story. Sorry dude.)

  7. Look at all of these positive responses. You ladies sure know how to bring the sunshine in. Off I go to... find a new place... or something.