The vendors who saved our asses: my big day

When 2E's and I stepped into our vintage taxi cab as our wedding was coming to a close, we found a small basket in the backseat, the contents of which included a handwritten note, two slender glasses and a chilled bottle of champagne. The basket was a congratulatory gift from Elif Aksoy, Lisa Friesel and Erica Greenblatt -- the ladies of My Big Day Planning.

I begin at the end to prove just how dedicated these ladies were to ensuring that our wedding was as enjoyable and carefree and perfect as it could be ... and to illustrate what it truly means to go above and beyond the call of duty.

Like our videographer, we never intended to hire a coordinator. What can they do that we can't do ourselves? What does coordinating even mean? How difficult could it possibly be to get through the wedding without the roof of the reception venue caving in on us?

Oh, silly us.

In the months prior, 2E's and I would Skype with Elif and walk through both the larger and smaller elements of the wedding. She asked us all the right questions and reminded us of all those picky little details that brides and grooms tend to forget in planning. She volunteered to research guest transportation options and costs, taught us about traditional wedding etiquette and gave us some amazing suggestions when we were at a total loss. At our rehearsal, Elif and company helped us push through our agenda and organize our wedding party. And when things got hairy with our ceremony venue contact, MBDP stepped in and handled all correspondence from then on. 

Elif and 2E's en route to the ceremony

What we found most comforting about MBDP was how willing Elif and Lisa and Erica were to take things off of our plate, work around our schedules, and set and coordinate all of our meetings. In the days leading up to our wedding, they were always on call, ready to tackle any unexpected obstacles that we might encounter. And on the day-of, they didn't let us do an ounce of work. Having all of the ladies present (with their combined expertise and enthusiasm) as opposed to just one coordinator was a true blessing, and all three of them were aware of the sequence of events and all things that needed to be done.

In planning, you'll continually ask yourself, Boy, who's going to do that tiny, thankless job at the wedding? Well, whether it was their responsibility or not, Elif and her team were pleased to do all of them. The ladies even gathered our gifts, belongings and leftovers at the end of the evening and delivered them to our hotel in the wee hours of the morning. It was no surprise to find an email from Elif in our inbox at 10am the next morning with a few updates and reminders and pending issues.

It's strange now to think that Elif and I met over Twitter; she and 2E's didn't meet in person until the week of our wedding. And I suppose those details make their contribution that much more heartening. I'd call them a triumvirate if it did them justice. Instead, I'll call them our respirators ... helping us breathe just a little bit easier.

photo by Noah Devereaux

Why Skype Saved Our Wedding, Pt 1

I imagine the "what is the point of Twitter" questions will never cease. I hear them at least once a week, and The New Yorker has no want for old-fashioned writers and their quibbles about teens texting and twittering their every waking moment ("just woke up" "just ate breakfast" "just finished breakfast"). And as long as those criticisms drag on, I'll continue to tell the site's cynics about the hundreds of amazing people who 2E's and I have met since September, people we never would have met otherwise....

...people like Elif at My Big Day Planning. Elif messaged me during the Irish Curse run and came out to see one of our performances on a whim. Exchanging post-show emails, we talked about how she could help fill the gaps in our own planning. My Big Day does consulting of all kinds, from engagement parties to ceremonies, from tenting and draping to catering and tasting. But where 2E's and I need the most hand-holding, we discovered, is not with pre-event services but with on-site, day-of services. We anticipate being an absolute mess that weekend. That week. Both of us. Two absolute messes sweating through their formal-wear.

Because Elif is located in New York, and we're ... well ... not, we decided to have our introductory meeting over Skype, the free video and voice software that made AIM look like child's play and led, undoubtedly, to the chatroulette phenomenon.

The verdict? I love Skype. Never have. Now I do. Why?  Simple. It's just as convenient as meeting for coffee, except that the coffee is brewed in the comfort of your own home, and you don't even have to shower. 2E's poured herself a cup of joe, and I spritzed my hair to give the impression that I'd bathed recently.

In all seriousness, we can't be more thrilled to have My Big Day on what we are now referring to as our Kick-ass Wedding Team. We have no doubt assembled an awesome crew of talented wedding peeps to help us execute this thing, and Elif is no exception. We sent her what documents and schedules we had, and she asked us to walk her through October 2nd from beginning to end. Occasionally she'd jump in with a Have you thought about this, which of course we hadn't, or a You could do this instead, which of course would be a far superior option to the one we'd originally planned on.

We were like Skype sponges, adhering to the glass around our built-in webcam, soaking up any bit of advice we could steal. We expressed some concerns we'd had, like, We don't have anyone to take care of this thing, and she'd say, calmly, Oh, we'll do that. We'll cover that. We'll handle that. Apparently Elif was sitting in front of her personal computer in such a way that we couldn't see her 16 pairs of arms.

How do people like this accomplish as much as they do?? And how come we are NOTHING like that???

 Actual Skype Sponges

The best thing is that Elif and all 32 of her arms (and her consulting company/army) are prepared to guide us through the rest of our planning process, answer any pestering questions that may arise between now and October and point out all 600 things that we'll undoubtedly overlook. And serve as a constant reminder of precisely how kick-ass our Kick-ass Wedding Team is, which is very. Kick-ass.