Last Minute Groom Gifts (an abducted 'Ask the Groom' post)

Because The Knot hasn't yet realized just how lucrative this opportunity is -- to have an Ask the Groom column on their site where their 800 million+ brides can post questions about their fiance -- I've been forced to steal cries for help from their community message boards. Here's one from a troubled Knot user.

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What the heck to get my groom?

My wedding is 12 days away. I have nothing for him. We agreed to spend $100 on each other a gift. I was set on doing a boudoir photography shoot! I (thought) I had a photographer, but she got shady and flaky and ended up booking up instead of returning my calls. Anyway, I have no idea what I am going to do now. Every other photographer I have talked to charges at least $250, and I just can't afford that here at the last minute. Ordering something online is kinda risky since we are so close to the wedding.

What did you get your groom? ANY suggestions? Anybody pull off their own b-pics?

     - lexa10, Alabama

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Hi Lexa,

Congrats on the upcoming wedding! Clearly you're in crisis mode. Let's problem solve. 

To address that last question first -- I think do-it-yourself boudoir might be one of those things a person does because it seems like a great idea at the time but then regrets later in life (see: joint bachelor/bachelorette parties).

You don't have to look far to see where homemade, DIY boudoir has failed miserably in the past:

Don't make me show the other photo.

A spin on that idea, though, if you have your heart set on boudoir -- you could ask him to shoot it for you. He may not be Andy Warhol, but the final product won't be as important if he's the one behind the camera. I don't know any grooms who would turn down that opportunity.

But if you wouldn't let him hold your camera (let alone shoot with it), know that there are a million other options out there, and none of them involve shipping and handling. Also, don't give this gift any more weight than you already have. Your groom surely won't hold a grudge if, in the chaos of planning, you neglect to get him anything. You'll have plenty of time to make it up to him. 

Some ACTUAL suggestions? Ok, fine.

MAKER'S MARK HITS THE MARK. I know lots of brides go for the booze, and while I'm not a huge whiskey guy, I think a high-quality bottle (well under the $100 budget) is a swell idea. A shot before the big event is the perfect cure for a stiff, nerve-wracked groom. Attach a note that reads, Try to save SOME of this for tonight.

OFF-TOPIC. Don't do the socks for "cold feet" or the wrought iron ball-and-chain gag gift. Why? Because it's too on the nose, for chrissake. A gift like that says I'VE GOT WEDDING ON THE BRAIN. I'M CONSUMED BY THOUGHTS OF WEDDING. I HAVE NO OTHER ORIGINAL THOUGHTS. Try to get something off-topic; in other words, think of it as a "just because" gift: a book he's been talking about (or maybe one you think he might like); a sweet new piece of camping or hiking gear if you guys are outdoorsy types; or a man-centric magazine subscription. Or something unexpected but still "him." A gift like this says Who knows you better than me? -- as opposed to WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY! ARE YOU NERVOUS?!?!?!?!?!?

A NIGHT OFF. As involved a groom as I was, the last two weeks of wedding planning was like a drawn out nightmare. Everything demanded our immediate attention. We had a to-do list that would seemingly double or triple in size overnight. Every so-called "spare" moment was reserved for a wedding-related conversation. So consider organizing a relaxing morning/afternoon/night off with your groom -- one in which catering emails go unanswered, seating charts aren't revised and conversations have absolutely nothing to do with the wedding. See a movie. Bar hop. Trapeze. Whatever you decide to do, chances are you'll probably enjoy this gift even more than he does.

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related reading:

The Ultimate Groom Point: surprise gift for the bride (or groom)