Enter my sister, who was anxious on this Christmas evening in Royal Palm Beach to show me a new website ... something she's discovered recently ... something I'm going to love. What she shows me is the Go-Girl, an innovative new product that allows women to pee standing up ... a concept European women have been standing behind for years. In the words of their spokeswoman,
"With Go-Girl ... the world is your urinal."
Observe the unique tip design. And too, let's remind ourselves what else has a tip:
While us boys have grown accustomed to urinating in filthy gas station bathrooms, alleyways and plastic bottles (and sometimes, after a night of drinking, on any given suburban street), women don't have the luxury due to God's intelligent design. Enter the Go-Girl, the small, discreet and mysteriously hygienic pee funnel that makes camping, concerts and foreign travel THAT much easier.
While I haven't yet introduced the idea to 2E's, I'm not sure she'll buy into it ... but she might consider buying it for her trusty bridesmaids. After all, what better than a neon pink female urination device (affectionately, a FUD) to show your love, gratitude and appreciation on your wedding day. Plus, their catch phrases are genius:
"Because life's greatest adventure shouldn't be finding a bathroom."
For ladies who may be tempted, you can find their website here, and you won't want to miss their demo video. The only truly unfortunate detail (aside from the fact, as my sister puts it, that this urine detour-ant is actually a "faux penis") is that Christmas has already come and gone. Gifts have been opened. The opportunity has been pissed away. Literally.
Oh well. Thank god for Valentine's Day.