July 29, 2011

Crossing the Aisle, Vol. XIII

Just a heads up, boys and girls: The Groom Says will be on vacation next week. I'll be traveling to Best Man Justin's wedding in Metz in the northeast of France. Let's just call it research and leave it at that.

You should see the Best Man. (via Junebug Weddings)


Groom-Friendly Designs on the Bridal Blogs

We kick things off with a cool couple: Erin and Jason.

ERIN & JASON'S AUSTIN RECORD STORE ENGAGEMENT
via Katherine O'Brien Photography
Grooms gotta love this record store theme -- and Katherine's photos are stellar.

BBQ, ROCK 'N ROLL WEDDING
via Ruffled Blog
The only thing that can top a Texas record score engagement session is an outdoor, Texas BBQ wedding with musical icon table numbers. Check out the full gallery of images.

Old New York groom style ... via Green Wedding Shoes 

THE COOLEST GROOM BOUTONNIERES YOU'LL SEE THIS WEEK
via Austin Wedding Blog
AWB gives us a much-needed reminder that boutonnieres need not be boring.

And on that note...

Hand-sewn felt boutonnieres ... via Green Wedding Shoes

HOW TO: TIE A BOW TIE
via Southern Weddings Magazine
Terrified of bow ties, groom? You're not alone. Take a few tips from the ladies at SW Magazine.

This groom got mad style ... via Junebug Weddings


Have a great week next week, ya'll. Keep an eye out for updates from France!
-brian

July 28, 2011

Last Minute Groom Gifts (an abducted 'Ask the Groom' post)

Because The Knot hasn't yet realized just how lucrative this opportunity is -- to have an Ask the Groom column on their site where their 800 million+ brides can post questions about their fiance -- I've been forced to steal cries for help from their community message boards. Here's one from a troubled Knot user.


- - -

What the heck to get my groom?

My wedding is 12 days away. I have nothing for him. We agreed to spend $100 on each other a gift. I was set on doing a boudoir photography shoot! I (thought) I had a photographer, but she got shady and flaky and ended up booking up instead of returning my calls. Anyway, I have no idea what I am going to do now. Every other photographer I have talked to charges at least $250, and I just can't afford that here at the last minute. Ordering something online is kinda risky since we are so close to the wedding.

What did you get your groom? ANY suggestions? Anybody pull off their own b-pics?


     - lexa10, Alabama

- - -

Hi Lexa,

Congrats on the upcoming wedding! Clearly you're in crisis mode. Let's problem solve. 

To address that last question first -- I think do-it-yourself boudoir might be one of those things a person does because it seems like a great idea at the time but then regrets later in life (see: joint bachelor/bachelorette parties).

You don't have to look far to see where homemade, DIY boudoir has failed miserably in the past:

Don't make me show the other photo.

A spin on that idea, though, if you have your heart set on boudoir -- you could ask him to shoot it for you. He may not be Andy Warhol, but the final product won't be as important if he's the one behind the camera. I don't know any grooms who would turn down that opportunity.

But if you wouldn't let him hold your camera (let alone shoot with it), know that there are a million other options out there, and none of them involve shipping and handling. Also, don't give this gift any more weight than you already have. Your groom surely won't hold a grudge if, in the chaos of planning, you neglect to get him anything. You'll have plenty of time to make it up to him. 

Some ACTUAL suggestions? Ok, fine.

MAKER'S MARK HITS THE MARK. I know lots of brides go for the booze, and while I'm not a huge whiskey guy, I think a high-quality bottle (well under the $100 budget) is a swell idea. A shot before the big event is the perfect cure for a stiff, nerve-wracked groom. Attach a note that reads, Try to save SOME of this for tonight.

OFF-TOPIC. Don't do the socks for "cold feet" or the wrought iron ball-and-chain gag gift. Why? Because it's too on the nose, for chrissake. A gift like that says I'VE GOT WEDDING ON THE BRAIN. I'M CONSUMED BY THOUGHTS OF WEDDING. I HAVE NO OTHER ORIGINAL THOUGHTS. Try to get something off-topic; in other words, think of it as a "just because" gift: a book he's been talking about (or maybe one you think he might like); a sweet new piece of camping or hiking gear if you guys are outdoorsy types; or a man-centric magazine subscription. Or something unexpected but still "him." A gift like this says Who knows you better than me? -- as opposed to WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY! ARE YOU NERVOUS?!?!?!?!?!?

A NIGHT OFF. As involved a groom as I was, the last two weeks of wedding planning was like a drawn out nightmare. Everything demanded our immediate attention. We had a to-do list that would seemingly double or triple in size overnight. Every so-called "spare" moment was reserved for a wedding-related conversation. So consider organizing a relaxing morning/afternoon/night off with your groom -- one in which catering emails go unanswered, seating charts aren't revised and conversations have absolutely nothing to do with the wedding. See a movie. Bar hop. Trapeze. Whatever you decide to do, chances are you'll probably enjoy this gift even more than he does.

- - -

related reading:

July 26, 2011

Kaufmann Mercantile: Artisanal Awesomeness (snowshoes included) + 15% Discount!

The people at Kaufmann Mercantile have a genuine curiosity about the things we use everyday -- and not just how they work but how they're made, where they're made, and what makes them worthwhile. That curiosity is evident in their blog, which features a recent post on the history, various uses and production of ROPE.

So for guys and grooms like me who are addicted to sites like Uncrate and Hodinkee and are constantly inundated with new product porn, it's refreshing to find a company like Kaufmann Mercantile that cares as much about old school manufacturing as it does about new age technology.

I've pulled a few favorite gift options from KM's online store -- so scroll through, click on links for more details, check out their other goods (including some sweet graphic design and hardware products), and then use our exclusive DISCOUNT code at the bottom to start shopping.

Yes, shopping for yourself is perfectly acceptable.

- - -

GROOMSMEN GIFT OPTIONS, ABRIDGED

Wentworth Polished Pewter Flask, manufactured in Sheffield, England, and available in 4oz & 6oz - $54/$59

Magnesium Fire Starter, hand-crafted from naturally-shed elk antlers - $29.95

- - -

GROOM GIFT OPTIONS, ABRIDGED

Leather Head Handmade Football, designed with a layman's shrimpy hands in mind - $115

Classic shave kit w/ Muehle Safety Razor ($61), 5 Double-Edged Blades ($2), and Valobra Shaving Soaps ($12.50)

- - -

BRIDE & GROOM GIFT OPTIONS, ABRIDGED
(YES, EVEN THE BRIDES GET SOME LOVE)

Coffee done right: Chemex Handblown Coffeemaker ($65.90 - $87.90), Coava Kone Filter ($50), and Chemex Filters ($7.50/$8.00)


Market & Fruit Picking Pack, a rattan harvest pack to replace your moldy old picnic basket - $104 - $149

- - -

FINALLY, A GROOM MUST-HAVE

Walk down the aisle in these bad boys, handmade in Shingleton, Michigan, by the last wooden shoe company in the United States - starting at $248.

- - -

Because the guys and gals at KM are so fond of you all, they're giving you an exclusive discount. Just plug in THEGROOMSAYS15% at checkout, and it'll knock 15% off the total cost. (Code is valid through August 31st.)

Click HERE to visit the Kaufmann Mercantile online store.

- - -

If you have any questions about KM or their products, visit their website or contact them directly at contact@kaufmann-mercantile.com. Follow KM on Twitter @KaufmannMerc.

July 24, 2011

The Groom's Cure for Wedding Planning Stress

For those grooms (and brides) who can't start a blog to release their frustrations (Who would do such a thing?), how's about an old back room bar tradition:

  I definitely wouldn't use "Master" to describe our skill level.

2Es' mom stayed with us last week and, seeing a missed opportunity, drilled a few holes in the wall beside our fridge and added our dart board (which had been featured last October at our rehearsal dinner)  to our vast collection of kitchen artwork. Thanks Mom-in-Law!

Now the married couple, we get a few rounds in on the weekends or while we're cooking ... but grooms and brides might use this drunk man's sport to settle a wedding disagreement. 

She let me win this round. She didn't want to embarrass me on my own blog. 

Be forewarned -- if you're as skilled as we are, the space below your dart board may look like this after a very short time. (I see some caulking and painting in our near future.)

And this was before we started drinking.

The dart board is currently available on Amazon for $41.27 and includes 6 brass darts (not the awesome Great Britain v USA weaponry shown above).

Chalkboard paint available at most paint and art stores. Thanks to my MIL for that kitchen addition as well!

- - -

Photos by Brian Leahy for Joanna Wilson Photography

July 21, 2011

Crossing the Aisle, Vol. XII

Lots to see this week. Let's get this party started.

Groom-Friendly Designs on the Bridal Blogs 

A couple's portrait that we can roll with ... via Green Wedding Shoes

MUSTANG SALLY
via Grey Likes Weddings
Somehow Groom Mark manages to convince his bride-to-be that their engagement session should take place in, on and around (and be primarily about) his Ford classic. And for that, Mark is our Groom of the Month.

"Dude, I think someone just tagged "MILF" on the front of your barn" ... via La Belle Bride

RHODE ISLAND WOODSY WEDDING
via Ruffled Blog
Wedding in the woods with a kick-ass menu, stellar graphics, specialty cocktails in honor of the B&G's grandparents, and rub-on tattoos at the reception. This one's worth checking out, men.

21st century groom style ... via Ever Ours

LOVE IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK
via Ever Ours
Yet another engagement session set in, on and around a beat-up old vehicle ... this time with the backdrop of a post-apocalyptic gas station.

Appropriate signage ... via Wedding Chicks

Check in next week - we'll be doing an improper hat initiation ("ugh, more with the hat?") + introducing a new source for groom/groomsmen gifts - with an exclusive discount. You heard me.

Get on that weekend, readers!

July 19, 2011

Ask the Groom: Boudoir Photography

Dear Groom,

What's your take on boudoir sessions as gifts for hubbies? What do you think of them being published online for the world to see?


(from HiLLjO)


- - -

As many of you know, 2Es and I run a modest photography business in Los Angeles, specializing in portraiture (children, families, engagement shoots). She's the true talent, and I pop in now and then to assist and art direct and sometimes suggest an alternative angle. 

I think it was three years ago now that 2Es shot her first boudoir session with an acting colleague. Meg had approached her in private, telling 2Es that she wanted to do something special for her husband for their 5-year anniversary. I had never heard of such a thing. "So - um - I guess I won't be assisting you on this one."

"No, you definitely won't," she said. 

Rock-out boudoir ... via Rock n Roll Bride, © Live It Out Photo

Do I think the boudoir shoot makes for a great groom gift, or a great gift at any point in your relationship? Absolutely. Especially when the groom would least expect it. Especially for brides who are typically reserved and conservative and would never find themselves in a Maxim-style photo shoot.

(Okay, maybe a little classier than Maxim.)

Beach Boudoir ... via Green Wedding Shoes, © Red Leaf Studios

(Okay, maybe a LOT classier than Maxim.)

And on the issue of publishing them on bridal blogs, for "all the world" to see (the "world" being thousands of brides and dozens of grooms and the occasional perv who browses wedding websites) ... I think it's an important discussion to have. In this groom's humble opinion, the guy should definitely be consulted before the photos appear on the front page of the 100 Layer Cake blog. 

But I think too that grooms should keep an open mind. I could predict that a natural reaction for most guys would be to protect their better half ... to protect her from the "horrors of the internet," to maintain some kind of privacy, to keep something sacred. But in a world in which Katy Perry's breasts have made more magazine covers than the Dalai Lama, I don't believe much is sacred.

Well, marriage is. Marriage is sacred. But a dozen bedroom pics of your lady in her lady-skivvies isn't going to taint the sanctity of marriage, no matter how conservative you may be (politically or in the bedroom).

Abandoned mansion boudoir ... via Brooklyn Bride, also © Live It Out Photo

More importantly, groom, a big component of the boudoir session is empowerment. And for those women who see their photographs and see in those photographs a beauty that they haven't seen before, sharing them with the world wide web (pervs or not) might be a huge (and hugely important) act of self-expression -- and self-worth.

You won't see 2Es' photos of Meg on this blog or her blog or any other because Meg had no intention of publishing those images or sharing them with anyone but her hubby. For her, undressing in front of a photographer/acquaintance was already a boundary-pusher. For others, that won't be the case.

Couples boudoir ... via The Knotty Bride, © Acres of Hope Photography

HiLLjO - thank you, not only for the inspiration for the post but for the inspiration for a photo shoot we now have "in the works." I will say nothing more about it ... except that it will further solidify how I feel about publicizing the highly personal. Let your imagination go where it may.

- - -

If there's something you'd like to Ask the Groom,
email me by clicking HERE.

July 18, 2011

Out With the Old, In With the New (Era)

Wait - wait a second. Is this seriously a post about his freakin' hat? The one his friends and family have been watching decay over the past who knows how many years? The one he'll sweat through in boot camp and then leave on the windowsill to dry? The one he'll actually wear to formal events and refer to it as "vintage"?! Are we actually doing this?

Yes, we're actually doing this. Because for the last eleven weeks, I've been browsing the bridal blogs, searching for content for the Crossing the Aisle posts. And I've seen my fair share of posts about designer high heels and birdcage veils and wedding-appropriate undies and whatnot.

Well, this is the man version. This is groom fashion: the evolution of a baseball cap. I got no shame.

[click photos to enlarge]


[Some background info:]

I bought this cap the morning of my first Subway Series game because, at the time, I had no legit Yankees gear. I ran into the Fulton Mall Modell's in Brooklyn and picked this weathered hat off the shelf (I swear, it blew in off the street one afternoon and the Modell's staff stuck a price tag on it).

In spring of 2010, I wore the hat every night and twice on Saturday as Rick in The Irish Curse. Our assistant stage manager Graham would spray me from head to toe before I went onstage (the setting was a rainy Wednesday evening in Brooklyn Heights), making sure to soak the brim of the cap for an authentic look.

Clockwise from top left: discoloration; tattered fabric; unidentifiable blue dots; and severely frayed bill

The hat even made several appearances at our wedding:

chillin' on the couch 

wearing 2Es' engagement ring

In recent days, I've had to accept the fact that the hat is on its way out. Like a legendary jersey, retirement is imminent.

So I come home the other night ... and look what 2Es has waiting for me on the kitchen table.

My wonderful wife knows me all too well

It's blue, as it's meant to be, not a rusted, reddish-brown. 2Es did some research online, dropped by Lids, and tracked down a (brand new) identical cap. Out with the old and in with the new, as they say. Like the logo at the top of this page ... it's a new beginning.


- - -

Wedding photos by Suthi Picotte Photography

Additional photography by Brian Leahy for Joanna Wilson Photography

July 15, 2011

Crossing the Aisle, Vol. XI

A quick note before we jump into this week's Crossing the Aisle: if 2Es and I appear to be off-the-map next week ... it's because we are. We don't want you to come find us. She and I will be poolside at an undisclosed location with our iPad and MacBook, respectively. We've decided that we need a few days outside of the city to unwind and make progress on our passion projects. We'll be back Wednesday evening, fully tanned and fully unprepared to return to reality. 

Okay, on with the show, beginning with this groom-friendly engagement shoot at a public library.

Chalkboard cleverness ... via Ever Ours

DEAR ESB: IS A WHITE DINNER JACKET A TERRIBLE IDEA?
via 100 Layer Cake (and East Side Bride)
ESB addresses one bride's groom-related fashion question and tells us when and where white dinner jackets are appropriate ...

We can roll with these vintage poker chip bouts ... via Green Wedding Shoes

via The Broke-Ass Bride
On Episode 3 of Broke-Ass TV, Hunter (aka the Fresh Hubby) gives us the O-K to not break the bank when planning a bachelor party. 

"Dude, someone wrote on your shoes..." via Landlocked Bride.

via Southern Weddings
Marissa at SW gives us a brief lesson on the tradition and evolution of the groom's cake ... which is not the same, mind you, as a traditional Southern boob cake.

Starting to see a trend now ... via Wedding Chicks

Great weekend, everyone!
-brian

July 14, 2011

Engagement Shoot Emergency Kit ... For Men

On Tuesday, Wedding Chicks introduced an Engagement Shoot Emergency Kit for brides, complete with all of the beauty essentials that one might need while being photographed in a corn field in the middle of nowhere. It contains only the essentials: lip balm, concealer, comb, cuticle eraser, and so on. All of these must-haves would fit neatly in a mini make-up bag, which could easily be carried with you for 2 to 3 hours and not be a burden.

So we thought it was only appropriate that we introduce an Engagement Shoot Emergency Kit for the Groom, emergency-only items that are essential, practical and not at all cumbersome or unwieldy. Only the essentials.

And look - it all fits neatly into an oversized Costco shopping cart, which can easily be pushed through the sand and stored beneath the pier for the duration of the shoot.

[click to enlarge]

1. Nose hair trimmer. To get those pesky little hairs protruding from your face holes. 
2. Yo-Yo. In case you get bored during the shoot.
3. iPad. In case you get bored and you're not 8 years old. 
4. Clif bar. For that essential boost of energy mid-shoot.
5. Smelling salts. In case #4 isn't effective. 
6. Phone-A-Dude. A 3-minute conversation with a fellow male. "Dude, read me the sports page. Or just scream a bunch of obscenities at me. I've been smiling like an ass**** for two hours straight."
7. Traveling bar. Leather case, velvet interior, shaker, strainer, jigger, tongs, glasses, napkins and 2 mini, not at all cumbersome, very much essential bottles of liquor.
8. Ryan Reynolds. You're on-hand stand-in. Not only does he look exactly like you, but your lady surely won't mind.

- - -


July 11, 2011

Groomsmen Gift Idea: Bocce Ballin'

To all of my summer grooms who are looking for a unique groomsmen gift (or groomsmen looking for a unique groom's gift) ... check out Restoration Hardware's kick-ass new Bocce set.


What groomsmen doesn't want a fresh set of balls?


This "gentleman's" Bocce set is in rustic crate with rope handles, brass hardware and all the game essentials. The set is available by catalog and online only for $59.49. Get on it, grooms.

July 8, 2011

Crossing the Aisle Vol. X + Open Groom Casting

It's FRIDAY! And what does that mean? It means we stop writing about man-gerie and banana hammocks and pretend to be a little more sensitive.

(Just kidding, ladies.)

FRIDAY means that it's time for Crossing the Aisle!, our weekly tribute to groom-friendly designs on the web's most popular bridal blogs. Also -- scroll to the bottom to read about Oprah's latest expression of groom love.

Let the aisle-crossing begin!

Loose women we don't mind. It's the ski bums that we take issue with. (via The Sweetest Occasion)

RAD SAVE THE DATE VIDEO
via Brooklyn Bride
When brides ask how their grooms can get involved in the planning process, one of my many recommendations is that the groom take charge of the Save the Date (leaving the official invite in the bride's hands). This rock-infused Save-the-Date video is precisely why.

Grey and green and groomsmen ... via La Belle Bride

A VINTAGE CALIFORNIA WEDDING: ASHLEY + IAN
via Green Wedding Shoes
Three things for grooms to admire about this wedding: (1) the wall of books, serving as a backdrop for the dessert bar; (2) the wall of clocks, serving as a giant (metaphorical) backdrop for the ceremony; and (3) Groom Ian's choice to tattoo a vintage key on his finger in lieu of a wedding ring. That's some badass symbolism right there.

"With this tattoo, I thee wed."

A NEW VIEW ON MEN'S WEDDING ACCESSORIES
via Brides.com
As part of his "Groom Stuff" series, Phillip Crook introduces us to the surprisingly affordable Warby Parker designer frames collection.

Read your vows in style

AN ELEGANT, URBAN, FOOD TRUCK WEDDING IN BROOKLYN: AMY + MICHAEL
via 100 Layer Cake
Food Truck Weddings live on! This "with it" Brooklyn couple hired three different New York-based food trucks with three very different cuisines to cater their wedding: Schnitzel & Things, the Country Boys Taco Truck and the Rickshaw Dumpling Truck.

- - -

Before we all scatter and scurry to do our weekend business, let's talk about Oprah. We're 1 for 1 with the queen of television; remember, she and organizer guru Peter Walsh came into our home back in December and organized / cleaned up / renovated / upgraded 2Es' office space. She was in the [I forget the month] issue of O Magazine. She's, like, famous.

Now Oprah is tackling grooms on her OWN (the world) Network. The UK show Don’t Tell the Bride is about giving grooms the money and the power to design a dream wedding ... in 3 weeks. Naturally, hilarity and chaos ensue. Here's hoping that Oprah and the producers don't spin the show to make grooms look like reckless idiots.

Um, have you seen any episode of any reality TV show ... EVER?!

Yeah, I know, I know.

So DTTB is currently casting dynamic couples who are engaged but lack the funds to have a dream wedding. Each episode focuses on one couple (who are incommunicado during the planning) and what it took to make the wedding happen.


So if you're over 21 years of age, currently engaged, and willing and able to get legally married between August and September of this year, it's worth checking out. Email bride@shedmediaus.com with the following info:
  • Your names 
  • Your phone numbers 
  • Your emails
  • Your resident cities 
  • A few sentences about you and why you are an ideal couple for the show 
  • Where you are in the wedding process 
  • A current photo of the two of you

Happy weekend everybody!
-brian

July 6, 2011

Ceremony Readings: Me and Shel Silverstein

As a writer, my primary goal for our wedding ceremony was to find texts that reflected us as a couple, that embodied our sense of humor, and that avoided religion at all costs. 

I search endlessly online -- not for texts but for ideas. How do you make it your own? How do you find something that hasn't been done before?? Every piece of writing I encountered in my every day was a possibility: the backside of parking tickets; nutritional information; the messages on urinal cakes. 

Then, one morning, 2Es and I raided the children's section at Borders, read through ALL of his books, and came across a poem that matched our intentions. It's called ATIONS.


I've loved Shel since I was a kid. Back then, I thought he was weird. Today, I'm convinced that that man was nothing short of a genius.

Unfortunately, his poem didn't end on the right note. I could just envision our guests' faces, puzzled; I could predict their confusion. So (being a writer), I decided to write an addendum to the poem. Feeling ballsy, I put my own spin on Silverstein. 

We printed out the wording, highlighted "parts" for my siblings, and taped the text into the pages of the book. This way, from our guests' perspective, they were reading straight out of A Light in the Attic.


A few of our relatives and friends who attended the wedding have asked that I publish the text. So for them -- and for those people who feel like they're stuck and can't find a single ****ing poem or song with wedding-friendly prose or lyrics -- here's the proof that all that searching pays off in the end.


ATIONS
by Shel Silverstein (and Brian Leahy)
performed by my brother & sister


BRO
If we meet and I say, "Hi,"
That's a salutation.
If you ask me how I feel,
That's consideration.

SIS
If we stop and talk awhile,
That's conversation.
And if we understand each other,
That's communication.

BRO
If we argue, scream and fight,
That's an altercation.

SIS
If we later apologize,
That's reconciliation.

BRO
If we help each other home,
That's cooperation.

SIS
And all these "ations" added up
Make civilization.

BRO
Now Brian  and Jo -- their paths crossed
During their higher education.
Two kids bonding in acting class
Over lack of pigmentation.

SIS
And call it what you will --
Be it coincidence,
Or ... electromagnetic radiation --
They bonded instantly.
They were meant for each other.
No exaggeration.

BRO
And after six years of flirtation,
And co-habitation,
And one cross-country relocation...

SIS
...we've made it here, to the celebration
of this perfectly logical pair formation.

BRO
And if there's one thing they don't have today,
It's hesitation.

SIS
If there's one thing they do have,
It's each other --

[PAUSE]

BOTH
-- ation.

Photo © Noah Devereaux

Honey, Where's My Harness, or "the Man-gerie Post"

I've been pestering The Knot for some time about adding an Ask the Groom column to their website, a "safe place" where brides and brides-to-be can pose questions, and I would answer them the only way I know how: by substituting helpful responses for caddy remarks.

So I stole a great question from The Knot's community message board and delivered an inappropriate groom response. Here goes:

I bought some sexy lingerie for our honeymoon, and asked my husband ... to get something a little more fun than his Hanes. After looking at *every* store in the mall (or so he claims) he couldn't find anything silky, animal print, or in any way more interesting than his everyday underoos.

I'm not looking for anything kinky - and we're both definitely ok with something we're more likely to laugh about than to take as seriously sexy. But we need some suggestions about where to shop!

P.S. He wears boxers or boxer-briefs. No banana hammocks! :)

     - from mimi4347 in St. Louis


Dear Mimi,

Nothing "kinky?" No banana hammocks? Well that sucks the fun right out of jockwear!

Okay, slings and thongs aside, your hubby does still have a few options available to him. Where you went wrong, Mimi, was sending him to out into the wilderness (i.e. the mall) alone, unprotected, with no real sense of direction. Of course he didn't go to every store in the mall. He probably slipped into Victoria's Secret, thinking that was his best choice. Perhaps he saw a product he thought might work but was disheartened when a nearby employee asked, "Would that be a gift for your wife?" He got the f*** out of there and spent the next three hours in the massage chairs at Brookstone.

For the guy who's real shy about buying undies (and that's the majority of us), online might be the best first-time option. Lingerie Diva has a whole section devoted to men's personals. Mimi, I'm sure you'll love the Poly/Spandex Fitted Boxer in leopard print, the HOT Men's Leather Shorts (they capitalized HOT, not me), and the Mens Double the Pleasure Fishnet Short, now on sale for $15.40.

The Knot probably wouldn't be able to publish this photo, but I sure as hell can. That's right, there's holes in the front and the back.

Mimi, this may be SLIGHTLY too kinky for you ... but at least it's not the 4-Piece Leather Harness.

In all seriousness, the site does have some "Enhancing Briefs" and "Mini Shorts" and "Microfiber" something-or-others that your hubby won't mind and will bring some added sexiness into the hotel room. And if you want to spice things up on the last night of the trip, you can't go wrong with these "Strip Search"  5- and 3-piece sets:

Officer and Prisoner, $19.89 and $23.89 respectively. Comes with "Sgt. Dick Amazing" name badge.

The better option, in my opinion, is to send him to a specific store (for Los Angelenos I suggest Hustler Hollywood) with detailed instructions, i.e. I want you to get one thing you think is hilarious, and one thing you think is potentially very sexy. If he's nervous about it, tell him to go as soon as the store opens. No one is shopping for vibrators at 9AM.

Actually, that's probably inaccurate. 

Hilarious option vs. Sexy option. Or vice versa. I don't judge.

Finally, ladies, if you're really adventurous (and really trusting), maybe a boutique like Sugar Lilie is the place for you. Sugar Lilie (which is LA-based) hosts a quarterly event called Men-Clave, which invites men (and men alone) to spend an evening learning about becoming comfortable with lingerie. And yes, some of their top products are modeled for the boys while they sit back and sip beer. For guys, as my wife puts it, it's a win-win situation. 

(It's like a strip club ... minus the nudity ... in a lingerie store. It's educational.)

What I suggest, Mimi and Husband, is that you not rule out "kinky" from the get-go. Be adventurous. Drift into your discomfort zone. If the first night of the trip is reserved for more conservative evening-wear, then perhaps the leather harness will make an appearance on Margarita Night. After all, putting your husband in a collar is kind of like a metaphor for marriage. 

July 2, 2011

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Happy Fourth of July, readers!

cheers,
brian