November 5, 2009

I'm in Hellvetica

When 2E's proposed that we have a date (i.e. planning) night sometime in the near future, I tapped into that ne'er seen supportive side of mine and said, "Sure."

After all, in-house marriage-related chaos has been minimal since our return from BKLYN. And her nightmares in which our entire wedding is in shambles have been reduced to one per week. In fact, the last one wasn't even a nightmare: something about me breaking into gangsta rap mid-vows. A serious improvement from last week's nightmare, in which I interrupted our ring exchange with an impromptu Electric Slide.


2E's promptly replied with our agenda for the meeting. Topics to be discussed included our ongoing wedding band hunt and our choice of font for all things wedding-related.

For most, this would be no difficult task. The groom's preference is to make the quick, simple choice or, if that's not possible, delegate the choice to someone else. When it comes to fonts, 99% of grooms will scroll down the list and pick one. Pick the font with the capital Y that looks like a wishbone; or the lowercase c with the right amount of curvature; the one with the Budweiser "B", or Wingdings, in which the letters are replaced with ClipArt images.

But me -- no, see -- this groom slash perfectionist doesn't fit that bill. This is the groom who has changed the font in that long word document he calls a novel at least two hundred times, back and forth between 4 or 5 acceptable options. The groom who avoids using the lowercase y at all costs because he doesn't like its tail. And if I can't avoid it, I italicize it (see previous sentence).

This meeting could conceivably drag on for hours. I might create PROS and CONS tables for each approved option.  I might include a Venn diagram or two. I might even email 2E's a few rare vintage font selections in advance of our date (planning) night. Whatever the case, I plan to be thorough.

I'm anticipating my own wedding nightmare this week, in which each "table number" is a variation on the lowercase y. And not in italics.


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