July 4, 2010

Ya'll Have Boring Taste

While our invites, sealed and stamped and scented with Irish Spring soap, are sitting in the neighborhood post office awaiting departure, 2E's and I thought we'd revamp our gift registry. We flipped through the summer Crate&Barrel and CB2 catalogs, adding these and removing those and rethinking some bowls that we weren't quite settled on in the first place.

And it was just then -- mid-bowl rethinking -- that I realized about our own list what I had realized about every other gift list that I'd ever seen. This shit's kind of boring.

Minus the cool rug and the hot espresso machine (and perhaps the 6-slice toaster oven), most of the items we've "asked for" are simple, white, clean, neat, plain. Boring.

And it's the same exact feeling that I've had before ... when a friend or relative or co-worker's gotten hitched ... and I've browsed their list a little too last minute and thought, Are you friggin' kidding me? All that's left on here is a skillet and a salt shaker?! I don't want to buy them that crap! They'll remember me as that-guy-who-got-a-free-dinner-and-got-us-salt-and-a-skillet.

But you, dear guy who got a free dinner, should get them that skillet. Don't hesitate. Because the groom half of the equation has been waiting for that skillet for something like 14 months, cause the one he has now is handed-down scrap metal, and he'll be pleased as punch when he sees it (salt shaker included). And the bride has had her eyes on that slate cheese board for, like, forever.

So the products lack excitement, but that's okay. It's only because, when young couples do have money to spare, they don't spend it wisely. We don't spend it on commonsensical items like spoons and salad spinners. Hell no. We spend it on new MacBooks and new cars and plane tickets. And we're content to sit at our new MacBooks, eating soup with a fork and picking through wet lettuce.

So it's time 2E's and I got just a little boring. It's time our dinner plates and drinking glasses matched. And if you're somehow pickier than we are, you better jump on that espresso machine.


  1. So true. My fiance and I are considering adding a few fun things on the registry, except we're worried we'll end up with a sweet ice cream maker and old fashioned popcorn popper and then have to cook our meals in tin foil over the burner :/

  2. We put lots of practical stuff on our registry and then put a few fun non-traditional registry items on there too. We got most of the stuff on the registries and were pleased, but shortly after we got back from our honeymoon we realized we didn't have a can opener, measuring spoons/cups, or a colander! Fortunately we had gotten gift cards and were able to purchase those things, but it was weird that no one bought us those things, it's not like they're even expensive! But someone did buy us the disco ball. ; )

  3. Here's hoping you get all the boring crap you never dreamed of!

    I'm a little terrified of registering - this is on our to-do list for next month. We're going to go the crate&barrel route like you but we're also putting our dog's day care/overnight service on there and crossing our fingers that everyone decides to go with the Mutt Hutt gift certificates over the garlic press. However I'm guessing that somehow this will not be the case...

  4. I'm so glad you all feel my pain.

    Kendall - those ice cream makers are pretty sweet - I would absolutely add that to the list.

    Cindy - we both know that can openers are overrated. :)

    Kerry - I wouldn't be surprised if you got some Mutt Hutt gift cards. I know a couple who put honeymoon hotel gift cards on their list - thinking they'd get one or two -- and ended up with $500 in hotel money. You never know!

  5. It is so wierd how people work, When my Fiance and I registered we jokingly put a sham-wow on it and totally didn't think anyone would have the nerve to buy it. It was literally the first thing that came off our registry. People work in mysterious ways, or they just have the same sense of humor as I do. Either way its cool! :)