Had it been me ...
Had it been me with the available morning and the three (or four) mimosas and the tote bag and the barcode scanner ...
Had it been me, traipsing up and down the up and down escalators, deciding what in this maze of household-ware was most like me, it would have to be:
The Rojo Cabinet. A thousand dollars. $999, to be exact. An investment. A piece to grow old with. Preferably in a darker stain - a mahogany perhaps - something sophisticated. With shesham wood. With hand-forged metal knobs and wood hasp closures. Pigmented wax finish. A classic.
Oh god. Who the hell am I kidding.
At best, I know I'm the friggin' sandwich press.
Good for bacon or burgers. Stovetop or grill. Cool grip handle.
Goddamnit. I need a minute.