October 16, 2009

On the Day

With precisely 352 DAYS until the all-too-tentative wedding date, 2E's has decided to shift 25% of her focus to the miraculous event that will occur in precisely 351 DAYS: the rehearsal dinner.

We grooms often forget about things like rehearsal dinners. Take Thanksgiving, for instance. When it comes to the main event, the big Thanksgiving meal, we are all about it: we're the first to take a seat, first to deliver a half-baked grace, cut the bird, pass the peas, polish off the gravy and stuff ourselves beyond our means. But as for the planning and the cooking and the cleaning and the dish washing and the talking and the socializing - it's not where we shine. We've put 100% into the meal, and we've got nothing left to give. It's not in our genetic make-up.

We men take our cue from the true badass actors of classic cinema - the ones who do it all on the day. They don't want to rehearse or "do one for camera." They don't need multiple takes. You want to run lines with Clint Eastwood? Get lost. He does it on the day, punk. Now get Mr. Eastwood a sandwich. 

Sitting down with 2E's last night over mahi mahi, I tried to wrap my head around this. We plan this huge event for 85 of our favorite peeps, and then we have to plan another "mini-wedding" for 60% of them the night before? It's like opening 60% of your gifts on Christmas Eve.

2E's:  It's not. It's going to be totally different from the wedding.
ME:  ::inquisitive eyebrow raise::
2E's:  Sure it is. It can't be the same as the wedding.
ME:  So, like, caesar salad vs. garden salad.
2E's:  Think bigger.
ME:  Chicken caesar salad.

Suggestions I've thrown out thus far have included laser tag in Times Square (thanks Steve-o for the idea), horror movie night, driving range soiree and Jersey clambake, but 2E's has yet to be impressed. I have a feeling I may be sitting this one out, showing up when I'm needed, speaking when asked and nodding and smiling accordingly.

Wow, I think I'm getting used to this.